”…God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you:…” (1 Samuel 12:23)
Having previously been a pastor’s wife for 25 years, I speak from experience when I say this role is one of the most emotionally weighted positions of service. That’s not to say it’s not fulfilling or rewarding, but it is uniquely stressful in areas you may not realize. *If all jobs were rated by percentage of difficulty, being a pastor’s wife ranks in the 75%-85% range. (ChatGPT)
10 WAYS TO COVER YOUR FIRST LADY IN PRAYER
~Her Relationship With God~
Just like you, your pastor’s wife requires a close relationship with the Lord. Also like your relationship with God, it doesn’t happen automatically. It takes intentional planning and consistent focus. In order to effectively minister to those in the congregation who look to her for wisdom, comfort and nurturing, she must keep her relationship with God as her primary focus. This isn’t always easy when she is being pulled in many different directions at once.
-Pray she is able to make time for personal Bible reading, prayer and devotion time with the Lord early in the day, and consistently.
-Pray she hears the Voice of God often.
-Pray she is able to find the mind of Christ for each day.
-Pray she is able to release all her cares to the Lord.
~Her Relationship With Her Husband~
Your pastor’s wife’s first priority after her relationship with God is to her husband. The results of a strong and intimate relationship with her husband will spill over into every other area of her life, and will be a blessing to those around her.
-Pray she and her husband have consistent personal time for just the two of them.
-Pray she and her husband have open and consistent communication.
-Pray she and her husband are able to work through differences of opinion in a constructive and godly manner.
-Pray she and her husband are able to spend time, not only together, but also enjoying the hobbies they enjoy separately.
-Pray she and her husband are able to agree and commit to emotional, physical and spiritual boundaries that will benefit their relationship, as well as their family.
~Her Children & Grandchildren~
If your pastor’s wife has children living at home, she has all of the responsibilities for their care as you do for your children. The younger her children are, the more time, focus, energy they require of her. There will be times when she simply cannot be everything to everyone, because the needs of her children must come first.
Also, children raised in a pastor’s home have areas of difficulty that other children may not have. They have feelings of needing to be “perfect” at all times because they are “the pastor’s kids.” They deal with sharing their parents with everyone else in the congregation. They deal with family plans that have to be rescheduled, or simply don’t work out due to unexpected things that come up in the congregation.
-Pray for her energy level as she cares for her family.
-Pray for her children’s physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
-Pray for their time at school, and their friendships.
-Pray they have close sibling relationships.
-Pray they develop a personal relationship with Jesus early in life.
~Her Relationship With Members Of The Congregation~
Your pastor’s wife has the challenging task of being everyone’s friend equally, while building personal relationships individually.
-Pray she can build personal relationships that are sincere, but do not isolate any individuals in the congregation.
~Her Emotional Well-being~
Being a pastor’s wife requires thick skin, and a soft heart. She wasn’t elected to this role, yet her presence is invaluable. She must be both vulnerable, and unwaveringly strong. Her life is a paradox of strength and gentleness.
-Pray for her to be well balanced emotionally, able to focus on what’s most important at the time.
-Pray she is able to let harsh words or criticism fall to the wayside quickly.
-Pray she is not easily offended.
-Pray for her the gift of laughter.
~Her Home Life~
Even though it looks like your pastor’s wife is always at church, ready to take on the next service, class, outreach project or potluck, she actually has a home life. She loves you, and she loves serving, but she needs a home life where she can relax, unwind, regroup, refresh and breathe a minute.
-Pray the atmosphere of her home is comfortable and peaceful.
-Pray that people respect her time at home with her family.
-Pray for the peace of the Holy Ghost to saturate her family members, and every minute of every day.
~Her Giftings & Callings~
Every pastor’s wife is different, just as you are different from your siblings, cousins or neighbors. They have many of the same responsibilities, but they have different personalities and giftings to accomplish them with. Don’t expect your pastor’s wife to handle a situation in the same way a neighboring pastor’s wife would, or like your childhood pastor’s wife did, or even like you would if you were in her place. The First Lady of your church might be a natural speaker, singer or organizer…or she might not, and that’s okay.
-Pray for your pastor’s wife to acknowledge, embrace and utilize her own giftings.
-Pray your pastor’s wife doesn’t feel pressured to be like anyone else.
-Pray your pastor’s wife finds clarity for ministries God is calling her to do that may not be traditionally expected of a pastor’s wife.
~Her Work~
Many, if not most, pastor’s wives must work a secular job in addition to their responsibilities to the church and congregation. This not only adds responsibilities, but often an added level of stress. Her job may be a well planned career that she went to college for, or it may simply be a job that helps with the family’s finances.
-Pray she finds the job God has planned for her.
-Pray she has the skills to do her job effectively.
-Pray she can be an effective witness to her coworkers.
-Pray she finds favor with her boss and coworkers.
-Pray the work she does is personally fulfilling.
-Pray she is blessed financially for her labor.
~Her Time Management~
Time for a pastor’s wife is counted by seconds, minutes, hours, days and blocks on a calendar. Most every moment is already spoken for, and must be managed. Free time is a rare commodity, and must also be scheduled.
-Pray she is able to manage her time and family’s schedule properly, and schedule some each week just for herself.
BONUS MATERIAL
I had already invested a few hours into this post when the thought came to me, “Maybe I should actually ask some pastors’ wives what areas they would like prayer for?” I messaged twenty pastors’ wives who I know personally, and asked them this simple question:
”As a pastor’s wife, what are the top three things that you would like your congregation to pray for you?”
By overwhelming majority, the top three prayer requests were:
1. Wisdom
2. Children/Family
3. Peace
The following requests were also mentioned, and most of them more than once:
-Compassion For People
-Health & Strength For Service
-Patience
-Sensitivity to the Leading of the Lord
-To Be Teachable
-To Be Able To Forgive Offenses (To Have The Gift of Memory Loss -LOL)
-Confidence
-Rest
-To Be Willing (This one broke me because it was preceded by, “I’ve never considered myself worthy to ask for specific prayers!”)
Well, there you have it. A glimpse into the hearts of pastors’ wives. I find it humbling that even when asked what they wanted prayer for, the answers were never really about themselves. Rather, they always focused on how they could be better equipped to serve others.
Hopefully, this list of prayer suggestions and requests will help you to pray more often, and more specifically, for your First Lady. Keep her in your heart, and in your prayers. You certainly are in hers.
Warm Regards,
~Pat~
*Don’t forget to leave a comment, and let me know your thoughts!