Christmas. It’s the most wonderful time of year. Right? The truth is that Christmas is indeed a wonderful, beautiful, glorious time of celebrating our Savior’s birth with family and friends. The truth is also that the Christmas season is a time of excessive spending, impossible expectations, heightened emotions and major overwhelm.
There. I said it. Someone had to.
We’re going to wake up on December 26th taking inventory of our bank accounts, and our senses. Like previous years, most of us will immediately make a commitment that next year will be easier, simpler, less exhausting…It’s me. I’m most of us.
In order to get ahead of the overwhelm, and navigate the season a bit easier, here are a few points to ponder.
SIMPLE IS OKAY
Every year, I see pictures of holiday decorations in magazines and social media feeds, and think I’m going to try that next year. When next year comes, however, I don’t have the energy or time. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that simple really is okay. My house doesn’t have to look like Martha Stewart decorated for me. The same can be said for gift giving.We have allowed the spirits of capitalism and consumerism to cause us to make spending decisions far beyond our means. Give yourself permission to go simple and easy this year.
INVEST IN MOMENTS
We tend to get our focus on the whole, big festive picture, and overlook the small moments. Memories of the decorations and gifts will fade quickly, but memories of experiences will last longer. Hot chocolate with marshmallows, the smell of wassal simmering on the stove, decorating a food tree for the birds, decorating Christmas cookies with the grandkids and reading the Christmas story. I plan to make these memory moments this year. Oh, and my husband brought home mistletoe, and I plan on kissing him, and each of my grand boys under it.
BE MINDFUL OF OTHERS
In all of our celebrating, we need to remember that not everyone is joyful through the holiday season.
1. Many people are missing lost loved ones, and that void is a deep chasm of grief. They press on for family and friends, but are aching inside. Another consideration is the financial circumstances of others.
2. Many don’t have the resources to purchase gifts for their loved ones as others do. We should take care to not overburden people to measure up to our standards of gift giving.
3. Some people suffer from a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This is something I personally struggle with. Our brains are wired to need an appropriate amount of natural light to function and feel emotionally healthy. People who suffer from SAD have a very difficult time feeling the joy of the holiday season.
4. We should also be mindful of the convictions of others. Not everyone decorates trees, and not everyone believes in Santa.
“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.“ (Luke 6:31)
FOCUS ON JESUS
It’s easy to get our focus on everything but the Lord during the holidays. But we need to remind ourselves Who we are actually celebrating. Spend time in His Word and Presence every day of the season. Allow Him to focus your mind, and calm your spirit. Look for ways to incorporate Him into activities, festivities, gatherings and conversations.
“And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.“ (Luke 2:7)
CORRAL EMOTIONS & WORDS
How many of us remember a Christmas when that one person lost control of their emotions, and everything spiraled? Most of us can remember at least one incident. Emotions are heightened during the holiday season. Finances are tight. Expectations are too high. Health and energy levels are being stretched. Self control is often out the window. Let’s pay extra attention to our thoughts, emotions and words this season. Before you say something you’ll regret, ask yourself, Does it really matter? Does it really need to be said? What will be the repercussions of my words or actions?
“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;“ (2 Corinthians 10:5)
PRACTICE THANKFULNESS
We’ve just passed Thanksgiving, and most of us aren’t feeling very thankful. Let’s commit to beginning and ending each day of the holiday season by telling the Lord something we’re thankful for. Keep a thankful journal. Write it down. When you’re feeling overdone, find something to be thankful for. You’ll be surprised how your outlook will change for the good.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.“ (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
PRAY
Never is there a time when 1 Thessalonians 5:17 is more appropriate than the holiday season.
Every person who has ever lived for God, or considered living for God, has asked this question. Even people who have lived for God many years often find themselves wondering how to hear from God, and how to know for sure if they did, indeed, hear God’s voice. First, let’s be clear. God does want to communicate with His people, and is, in fact, talking to us continuously. It is us who must learn to “tune in.”
In order to answer the question of how to hear God’s voice, we first have to talk about the ways God actually speaks. Here are the main ways He communicates with us.
1. HIS WORD
God has given us His Word through anointed men of God who wrote under the unction of His Holy Spirit. We call this collection of writings the Bible (the books), and it has stood the test of time through the millennia. The Bible is the account of God’s creative works, His plan of redemption for a lost humanity, the history of His people, His commandments and principles to live by and ultimately his prophetic words concerning the grand revealing of endtime events culminating in His return and establishment of His everlasting Kingdom.
“For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.“ (2 Peter 1:21)
God’s written Word, the Bible, cannot be separated from His Voice. Just like your word cannot be separated from your voice. Whether you think it, speak it, or write it, it is still your word which has imitated from your mind.
God’s Word is the first way He speaks to His people. He will never speak to you in any way that will go against or circumvent His written Word. This is one reason it’s so important to be students of God’s Word. We must study to know His will, and to be able to detect deception.
“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.“ (Psalm 119:11)
2. THE FIVE-FOLD MINISTRY
In addition to His written Word, God has given us a structure of support in the church called the five-fold ministry. These offices include apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers.
“And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:” (Ephesians 4:11-12)
The people who hold these positions are gifted and trained specifically to guide, teach, build up, encourage and instruct God’s people. His intention is for us to look to these ministers for help in finding God’s will for our lives. Beyond reading the written Word, it is by the preached Word that we hear God’s Voice in a practical way. This includes seeking confirmation on something we think could be the voice of God, but are unsure. God has strategically placed the five-fold ministry in the church for our guidance, and will not circumvent their influence in speaking to you.
SIDE NOTE
Every local church will have a pastor and teachers. Their guidance should be sought first. There will not be apostles, prophets and evangelists in every local assembly because their ministries reach further than the local church. They will, however, be available regionally, and known by the fruit of their ministries.
3. PRAYER
Prayer is to be our continual channel of communication with the Lord. We should spend as much time listening as we do speaking. He will drop a thought into our minds as we wait on Him in prayer. Anything He reveals to us should always be checked and weighed against His written Word, and the counsel of the ministry.
4. OUTSIDE VOICES
Sometimes God does use other godly people who are not necessarily part of the five-fold ministry to speak a word, make a suggestion or help us make a course correction. HOWEVER, we must take into account the first three avenues of His communication with us. He will never use an outside person to give direction that goes against his basic established structure of the Bible and the Five-fold Ministry. Most often. When someone gives us a “word from God,” it will most often be a confirmation of what we have already felt by reading His Word, counseling with the ministry and have sought in prayer.
5. SIGNS
This is the avenue that many people want to start at to hear from God, but it should be the last. This area is very often used by the enemy to draw us away from Truth and godly counsel. Many good, God-fearing people have been led away and deceived in this manner. While scripture assures us that signs will follow believers, it also very plainly tells us not to be sign seekers.
When we depend on signs above God’s Word, above the counsel of ministry and above consecrated prayer, we open portals into the spiritual realm of darkness called the occult. It is through these access channels that the enemy gains control of our minds, and ultimately our souls. Not everything spiritual is holy. It is sad when people will make decisions based on a sign, but refuse to read and apply God’s Word or seek godly counsel. When God chooses to show us a “sign,” it is most often to confirm what we’ve already received from the first three avenues of communication.
SIDE NOTE
Here is a personal example of wrongly seeking signs. Even from a child, I’ve always had a heart toward God and a tendency toward the supernatural. However, I wasn’t raised in the Apostolic church, and had no foundation to know how to hear God’s voice. One day when I was in junior high, I was walking to a friend’s house. We lived out in the country, and it was back in the day when kids spent time outside. On my way, I saw a red cardinal. A little further down the road, I saw a red scrap of cloth on the side of the road. Yet a bit further, I saw a piece of red trash stuck in a tree.
In my desire to hear from God, but having no foundation of how to do so, I determined this must be God attempting to speak to me. It wasn’t. It was a red bird, a red scrap of cloth and a red piece of trash. Because I had this tendency, my heart and mind were open to things like evil dreams and even apparitions appearing in my room at night. I was tormented by the spirit of fear for years until I was born again (Acts 2:38) and became grounded in a local assembly that taught the truth of God’s Word. But for the grace of God, I could have been deceived and lured away from truth.
IN SUMMARY
It is true that God created us to be in communion with Him, and that involves hearing His voice. It is also true that He is always communicating with us. It is us who must learn to hear what and how He is saying it.
He has placed specific processes in place for us to hear what He is saying. These include His written Word, the five-fold ministry, consecrated prayer. Then further removed, He sometimes uses outside godly voices, signs and occasionally His audible voice. It is absolutely necessary for us to remember that each one of these processes build on the previous ones. They do not circumvent them.
Realizing how God uses these ways of communication, and how vital it is to not be deceived, we must also realize the need to be rooted and grounded in a local church that preaches truth. Many people want to have their own relationship with God without actually submitting themselves to, or investing themselves into a church family. This is not God’s plan. He designed the church to be where we learn to hear from Him as we mature spiritually.
“And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.“ (1 Corinthians 9:25)
Most professing Christians have good intentions toward serving the Lord. It’s the day to day follow through that gets in their way. Neither the enemy of our souls, nor our flesh is ever going to make it easy for us to serve God, and be fruitful. There must be something within us (dare I say it?…) in addition to the Holy Ghost. There must be a resolve to continue, to keep pressing, to get back up. Lack of consistency is a major factor in why good people fall away from their walk with God. Here are seven areas where practicing consistency counts:
1. PRAYER
When a baby is born, we listen for that first cry, and rejoice when we hear it. That’s certainly not the only time that baby cries. His voice is heard from that day forward, and matures into full conversation throughout his life. So it is with prayer. When we come to the Lord in heartfelt repentance, we begin our conversation with him. That conversation continues to develop and mature throughout our lifetime. We should wake up talking to Him, go to sleep talking to Him, and visit with Him throughout the day. In his book The Book On Prayer, Rev. Ken Gurley calls this “practicing His presence.” Becoming consistent in prayer isn’t simply asking the Lord for more and more stuff. It’s Lear I g how to be “with” Him.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)
2. FASTING
Most Christians don’t give the process of fasting enough credit. The world and the devil know its benefits, however. This is another discipline where implementing it only one time will likely make you cranky and frustrated. We must give ourselves to the process of fasting with consistency. Ask the Lord to give you a fasting plan, and then be consistent in the follow through. He has promised in His Word that fasting properly breaks yokes, tears down strongholds and causes our our health to “spring up speedily.” None of this will happen if we only fast once in a while.
“Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.” (Matthew 17:21)
3. BIBLE STUDY
Being consistent in Bible study makes an invaluable difference in maturing spiritually. Perhaps you read the Bible every day. But do you study it? We can read God’s Word on many levels. One of the first ways we learn to read His Word is by starting with “Bible Stories” such as David & Goliath, Noah’s Ark. Daniel In The Lion’s Den. Perfect. This is absolutely the best place to start. However, there are so many other ways to study His Word in a deeper way. There are so many nuggets to mine out of the Word. Read deeper. Study deeper. Memorize scriptures. What do people’s names mean? They matter. What do the names of cities mean? They matter. How did a Bible character handle a similar situation to what you’re dealing with? It matters. I’m a firm believer that there is an answer in the Word of God for every question, situation or problem we might have. The answer will either be found in commandment, example or principle.
”Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119:105)
”Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.” (John 5:39)
4. SLEEP
This may seem an odd thing to think about being consistent in. Many will be happy to read it here. The truth is we don’t get enough of it. Sleep is when our body and mind heal, resets and gets refreshed. Our generation stays so stressed and filled with anxiety. We go go go, and fill the rest of our time in front of screens. Bodies weren’t designed to function properly in that condition. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Sick? Frustrated? Undone? Overdone? Anxious? Sorrowful? Go to sleep.
“It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.” (Psalm 127:2)
5. EXERCISE
Similar to sleep mentioned above, our bodies need to move. They were not designed to be sedentary. Without going into anything scientific or medical, which I’m not qualified to do, we can simply take a visit back to the Garden of Eden. God didn’t create Adam & Eve, and place them in an office building surrounded by monitors, wires and cushy chairs. He placed them in a garden, and told them to take care of it. From the beginning, their lives were filled with motion and work.Their bodies were, no doubt, healthy, muscle-toned and strong. Their lives were the exact opposite of sedentary.
When we don’t get enough movement, stretching and lifting, our bodies become weak, and depression sets in. Lack of consistent movement affects our mental state. It doesn’t have to be in a gym. I can’t with a clear conscience even suggest that unless it’s a ladies only or men only facility or class time…but that’s for another blogpost. I can suggest, however, that you make time to get outside on a regular basis. Work in the garden, do yard work, walk the neighborhood, take the grands to the park, do jumping jacks on the carport, buy a jump rope…just get moving.
6. GIVING
This one tests our spiritual maturity level, for sure. Christians are called to be givers. The first area of giving we think of is money, and it’s absolutely needful. We are called to give a tithe of our income to the Lord. A tithe is one tenth. Ten dollars out of every one hundred. You might say you can’t afford to pay tithes. Friend, you cannot afford NOT to pay tithes. Scripturally, it belongs to God. We are not only called to pay tithes, but to also give offerings. It is God’s tithe, and our offerings. The Word declares we rob God when we refuse to give.
”Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.” (Malachi 3:8)
Beyond tithes and offerings, we have so much we can give. Mainly, our time, attention and energy. When we spend time with people, gifting them one of our most precious resources, we assure them Jesus’ love is working through His people. Make the phone call. Cook the meal. Sit on their porch and visit. Listen to their stories with a smile and a nod…again. Rake their yard. Babysit their children. Do their grocery shopping. The opportunities to give consistently are endless.
”Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” (Luke 6:38)
7. MINISTRY
Here’s an area we need to remind ourselves that takes consistent attention. We don’t say it out loud, but there is an unspoken belief that Ministry will somehow just fall upon us with no effort. Granted, our God-given calling may present itself with no previous thought on our part. God chooses callings. What we choose to do with those callings, however, become ministries. We can sit on a calling, tucking it away unseen, and it will not develop into a Ministry. Or we can focus on it, hone our skills in that area and mature it into a ministry that is beneficial to the Kingdom of God. It’s our choice.
A singer must practice singing. A teacher must practice teaching. A preacher must practice preaching. A writer must practice writing. You get the idea. What are you called to do? What is your gifting? Are you practicing it consistently? Will that song ever get written? Will that lesson ever get taught? Will that message ever get preached? Will that book ever get written? OUCH! I just stepped on my own toes! That thing you’re called to do…practice it daily.
“Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Romans 12:6-8)
IN SUMMARY
Whatever you are called to do, it’s going to take consistent doing. Let’s do a personal evaluation of what we’re called to do, and how we are working to make that happen. It won’t come to fruition without a commitment to consistency.
”Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)
I remember long ago in a church far, far away there was a testimony service. My friend stood up in the midst, offered a sheepish smile to the congregation, and began to expound on her morning getting ready for church. It went something like, “I slept right through the alarm. The boys refused the get out of bed. Everybody bickered at breakfast. My husband and I ended up in a full shouting match in the car on the way. As I was coming inside, I realized I was wearing two different shoes, and to top it all off, I have a run in my hose.”
There was an awkward silence followed by muffled snickers. Not be because it was funny, but because each of us could relate. We had just never considered letting anyone else know of our own struggles…especially not people in the church who we were always trying to measure up to. She concluded her testimony by exhorting beautifully about the goodness of God in the midst of her less than perfect circumstances.
This event was before social media made its entrance into our lives. Now, as I sit and peruse my friends’ and acquaintances’ newsfeeds, they all seem to have such perfectly immaculate and pristine lives. Mine included.
We post the stunning sunsets and mountain vistas. We share the joyful memories and delightful surprises. We document wedding proposals and grand babies’ first steps. But rarely do you see the days of agonizing sickness, or reckless words hurled in a heated moment. We would never admit publicly how we slammed down a frying pan, took a swing at the dog or threw our hands up in despair for the second time this month. Our fear, fury and failures are off limits to the general public…and so should they be.
On occasion, I have seen the opposite approach to social media. I’ve been inadvertently brought along on people’s nighttime refrigerator raids, included in their struggle to find the perfect outfit for an event that’s a year away, and have been caught in the crossfire of unrestrained and scathing attacks on an unsuspecting person’s character.
I’m not suggesting that we open the vaults of ugliness, and sell tickets. I am suggesting, however, that we remember what we see on social media are generally only the highlight reels of people’s lives.
THE NEED FOR PARAMETERS
Free speech is a wonderful liberty, and I’m a fan of it. But liberty should always be guided by the Fruit of the Spirit with some wisdom and discretion thrown in. If visiting social media land leaves you overly emotional from one end of the spectrum to the other, here are a few parameters you can put in place to keep things in perspective:
Choose to use social media for a specific purpose rather than as a daily diary. Perhaps you have a business, and use your platform to promote your products. If you are a minister, you might use your internet space to share the gospel, and draw attention to the miraculous works of God. When you go on the trip of a lifetime, you’ll definitely want to document your travels…and of course, you’re going to share grand baby photos;)
Be mindful of how your post might be perceived. Will it encourage, or discourage? Allow God’s Spirit to guide you. When in doubt, don’t.
Don’t use social media as therapy. If you’re struggling emotionally, posting to social media will no doubt generate many responses. Ten out of ten will most likely give differing advice from the rest. What you need is a godly person who is trustworthy to confide in. A Holy Ghost filled pastor or counselor is a good starting place. If you must reach out to them via technology, do so privately.
Don’t post in anger. Take some time. Get some distance from the source of your frustration. Pray for a season. Don’t blast people publicly.
Limit your time on social media. Decide on a realistic allotment of daily time, and stick to it. Set a timer if you have to. Focus your time on personal relationships and beneficial pastimes.
Selectively “unfriend” or “unfollow” people. Unfriend people whose lifestyles are blatantly promoted on social media as against the Word of God. Unfollow people whose posts cause consistent negative impact in your daily social media viewing.
Don’t believe everything you read or watch on social media.
Don’t compare your life to those spotlighted on social media. Realize what they are choosing to show the public is only a fraction of the whole.
Choose to use social media, the internet and technology as tools to learn by, not live by.
Spend time with God in prayer and in His Word daily before spending time on social media.
IN SUMMARY
There’s never been a generation with more access to information than ours. With great access comes great responsibility. As Christians, we have the responsibility of being good stewards over our own lives, as well as others’ who we choose to interact with. In all interactions, we are called to use wisdom, discretion and the guidance of the Holy Ghost.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
”Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?” (Isaiah 58:6)
Anyone who knows me also knows I am a huge proponent of fasting. To be more specific, I am a proponent of living a disciplined and consistent fasted lifestyle. Many of our fears and frustrations over fasting come simply because we don’t practice it enough.
Living a fasted lifestyle has become a way of life for me over the last few years. It has been, and continues to be a wonderful emotional, physical and spiritual journey for me. You read that right. Fasting is not only for spiritual health, but also benefits the whole man.
I would never want to discourage anyone from the discipline of fasting. It is our God-given tool for emotional, physical and spiritual health. However, I’ve learned from experience there are a few pitfalls to watch for on your fasting journey. Again, I’m referring specifically to a lifestyle of fasting, not simply pushing back the plate occasionally.
These are a few areas I’ve dealt with myself. Being able to look out for them is going to put you ahead in your fasting journey:
1. BECOMING DEHYDRATED
Going without food should not include going without liquid. Your body can go a looong time without food, but only a few days without water. You should be sipping water throughout the day. By the time you feel thirsty, it’s too late, you’re already dehydrated.
Much of the “hunger” you feel while fasting is often your body begging for liquid. Approximately 55%-60% of our bodies are water. Literally, every cell in your body is made up of mostly liquid.
Symptoms of dehydration range from fatigue, dizziness, headaches, confusion, UTIs, etc. These can range from mild to very severe. The solution is to stay hydrated, preferably with clean, pure water and electrolytes which help your cells hold on to the water. Sipping herbal teas are also an excellent way to keep hydrated.
“The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.” (John 4:15)
2. BECOMING NUTRIENT DEFICIENT
I’m talking specifically about seasons of extended fasting, or living a fasted lifestyle where you are fasting one or two meals most days. In either of these situations, you must make sure that you are consuming enough, as well as, the right kind of nutrients during your eating windows. Fasting brings healing to our bodies when done correctly. Starving ourselves, or consuming only fast food/junk food in our eating windows is not fasting correctly. We are called to be good stewards over our bodies.
“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
3. TRYING TO FORCE GOD’S HAND
Fasting is powerful. But we should always remember that fasting changes us, not God. While we may have a specific need in mind for the focus of our fast, the biggest need is to subdue our flesh so that we are in tune with what God wants to do in that situation. This allows us to find the mind of Christ in order to pray more effectively. When we get our focus on changing God instead of ourselves, it’s easy to become frustrated, angry and even offended at God for not working in the way we assumed He would. Fasting should always be practiced with the mindset of “More of Him; less of me.” John the baptist expressed it perfectly.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)
4. BECOMING PRIDEFUL
Is it possible to become prideful while you are humbling yourself in fasting? I assure you, it is. When you are on an extended fast, or have begun living a fasted lifestyle, your body will naturally experience changes. Sometimes dramatic changes. Not long into my fasting journey, people began to comment on the physical changes.
My husband and I evangelize, so we are in different churches every weekend. There’s no telling how many times I heard comments like, “Hey, Skinny-Minny!” Or “Sis, you’re looking GOOD!” Or “Wow! How much weight have you lost?!” After a while, I learned to simply answer, “Thank you. I definitely feel healthier.”
To be transparent, the comments made me feel good. I liked the way my clothes fit properly which hadn’t been the case since my teenage years. I liked being able to move freely. I liked the feeling of being in control of my self. A person can worship and chase grandkids much easier fifty pound lighter.
It takes discernment and being honest with ourselves to know where the line is that crosses over from feeling thankful and healthy to feeling prideful and sexy. If you don’t pay attention, you’ll begin to walk differently. Enter a room differently. Meet people’s eyes differently. This is yet another reason to make sure our fasting is properly yoked together with prayer.
”Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” (2 Corinthians 2:11)
5. BECOMING JUDGMENTAL
This is a mindset that no one wants to admit to, and it’s mostly internal. There comes a point when you begin to feel “successful” in your fasting journey. You’ve worked hard to become consistent, and you feel like you’re seeing the fruit of all your hard work. You’ve experienced some powerful moves of God. You’ve seen signs, wonders and miracles. You feel like you’ve established a direct line to the Throne. Everything you’ve studied in the Word about fasting is being manifested in your life…Then out of the blue, the thought comes to you, “If I can do it, why can’t they? Why don’t they? If they loved God and His Word like they claim, their situation would be different.”
Whoa, hold on there, Wonder Woman! You don’t know what they’re dealing with. You don’t know what’s going on inside of them. You don’t know what infirmities they wrestle with. You don’t know what the enemy is holding them hostage with. You don’t see the tears they’re crying into their pillow at night. You don’t know what their coworker or loved one did or said. You don’t know their fears, exhaustion, anxiety, depression or desperation. Perhaps you should take a pit stop instead of another victory lap, and remember where God brought you from, and how far you still need to go with Him. Oh, and while you’re at it, why don’t you set aside a season of fasting and prayer just for them?
“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (Matthew 7:1-2)
6. BECOMING INCONSISTENT
It’s so easy to become complacent after a season of intense spiritual warfare. It’s nice to just take a break. After Elijah’s notable defeat of the prophets of baal, it only took one threat from the wicked woman Jezebel to send him fleeing to hide in a cave. His moment of rest would have turned into a permanent residence if God had not sought him out, and got him back on his way again. His work wasn’t finished. He still had to anoint a few kings, and choose his own replacement, Elisha.
One week without fasting leads to two, and then a month, a quarter and a year. It’s fine to rest for a season, but there’s much more spiritual warfare to accomplish.
“In your patience possess ye your souls.” (Luke 21:19)
7. BREAKING YOUR FAST INCORRECTLY
This is a BIG problem! Many people are afraid of fasting because they did it once, and got sick when they ended their fast. Most of the time, this is because they ended it incorrectly. It should take an equivalent amount of time to break your fast as the time you actually fasted. If you fasted one meal, then you should eat simple, non rich foods for one meal afterward. The longer you fast, the longer it will take to regulate your body back to eating. A three day fast, is actually a six day process. (That doesn’t count the days leading up to the fast when you will want to cut back on heavy foods, sugars and caffeine.) If you end a week long fast with pizza, brownies and a soda, you will be sorry. This has led to God’s people being fearful of the fasting discipline.
“Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.” (Philippians 4:5)
8. INTENSIFYING EATING DISORDERS
Fasting correctly does not cause eating disorders. However, if someone suffers from an eating disorder, it can exacerbate the condition. If you know you have a history with eating issues, please be responsible, and speak to your doctor. Don’t attempt to use fasting to control binging or purging. Yes, fasting breaks strongholds, but we are to serve God with our minds. Make good choices. If you begin to think that you are sinning if you eat, this should be a red flag to get help. Gluttony is a sin, eating is not.
”And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.” (Ecclesiastes 3:13)
IN SUMMARY
Living a fasted lifestyle is the answer to emotional, physical and spiritual health. We do God’s process an injustice when we handle it incorrectly. I hope this helps you on your journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have questions on the topic.
“But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.” (1 Corinthians 11:15)
You read that correctly. I don’t cut my hair. Ever. This fact is likely to be quite shocking to you if you have never been taught the biblical significance of a woman’s uncut hair. Before going any further, I want to make certain you understand that I am referring not just to wearing long hair, but uncut hair. The original Greek word here for “long hair” is Komao, which means untampered with long tresses. Or to let one’s hair grow long and unaltered. That being said, my hair hasn’t been cut in 30+ years.
IT’S ABOUT SUBMISSION
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3)
How can hair length be such a big deal? 1 Corinthians chapter 11 isn’t only referring to men and women’s hair. It is referring to submission to spiritual authority. Hair length is simply the symbol of that submission level.
WHY HAIR?
In the same way God chose speaking in tongues as the initial sign of someone receiving the Holy Ghost, so He also chose Hair as the symbol of a person’s submission to authority. The simple truth is He’s God, and He gets to choose. One little known reason, however, is that cutting of the hair, and offering it as a sacrifice to idols has been practiced throughout history. This practice was especially rampant in the city of Corinth at the time of Paul’s writing to the Corinthian Church on the subject.
Neither man nor woman is more important than the other in the Kingdom of God, but God has established a spiritual order. We are expected to remain submitted to that order. A woman’s uncut hair declares that she is willingly submitted to her spiritual authority. If she is is unmarried, her first level of authority would be her father, then pastor and ultimately the Lord. If she is married, then her first level of authority is her husband.
Make no mistake. This teaching isn’t only for women. As much as a woman is instructed to leave her her long, and uncut, a man is instructed to keep his hair cut short. In this way, he declares his submission to the Lord.
APPROACHING GOD IN PRAYER
Paul tells the Corinthians that our hair dictates whether we should approach God in prayer. A man’s head shouldn’t be covered. A woman’s head should be covered. To come before God any other way is a disgrace. This is why you will see many men remove their hats during prayer. You might also see a woman with a cap or veil over her head. Although these actions are done to be respectful of God and His Word, they are done out of context.
This teaching in chapter 11 isn’t referring to a natural covering, but the length of a person’s hair. Scripture teaches us to, “Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) In order to accomplish this, ladies would never be able to take off their hat or veil, and men would never be able to wear a hat. I much prefer to keep my hair uncut, and thereby be able to approach God at any moment of the day or night.
“Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.” (1 Corinthians 11:4-5)
SIDE NOTE
I’ve had people ask, “If a woman’s hair is her covering, why does she wear it put up, and not hanging down so that it covers more?” Let me reiterate the scripture is not referring to a natural covering, but a spiritual covering. Some women’s hair naturally grows longer or shorter than others. My own hair is not naturally super long, but if it is uncut, regardless of the actual length, I am covered, and living under authority.
ANGELS ARE WATCHING
”For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.” (1 Corinthians 11:10)
The Lord takes the doctrine of a woman’s uncut hair very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that angels take notice of whether we keep it uncut. Women who understand this truth take great care to not even trim their hair, knowing that keeping their hair untampered with adds a level of protection for their loved ones. I feel absolutely certain that many trials, afflictions and dangers have been avoided because I have kept my hair uncut.
”The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.” (Psalm 34:7)
DON’T SPEAK AGAINST WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
I realize this teaching presents in stark contrast to our cultural norm. We are perpetually surrounded by advertisements featuring new hairstyles. The pressure to conform can be overwhelming. Choosing to be a biblical Christian, however, often situates us crosswise with what the world declares is the right way.
Years ago, I was in a store with my young daughter. We were browsing the aisles when a young mother and her little girl walked past us. The little girl had long, beautiful hair, and I complimented her on how pretty it was. I was completely and utterly shocked when the lady replied in a nasty tone, “That’s what happens when you cut it.” I was so shocked by her audacity that I literally could say nothing in that moment.
This mean-spirited lady walked away feeling pretty good about herself, but in no way submitted to spiritual authority. She obviously new enough to realize we didn’t cut our hair, but doubtfully why. Let me make a few points here.
1. Hair grows from the roots, not the ends. Cutting or trimming your hair does not make it grow. It definitely makes it look fashionable, and more acceptable according to our culture. Aren’t we instructed to avoid conforming to the culture around us?
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:1-2)
2. If you don’t understand a verse, passage, commandment or principle in scripture, it’s much better to simply acknowledge that you don’t understand. God isn’t angry at you for not understanding, although He does expect you to seek to find understanding. Saying you don’t understand is much safer than speaking against, and treading carelessly upon something God has called holy.
THE OPPOSITE OF SUBMITTED
Let me point out that the opposite of being submitted is to be in rebellion. We think of being rebellious as someone who is committing all manner of vile sins. Certainly, as Christians who love the Lord, we would not consider ourselves rebellious. When we choose to disregard a practice that God has ordained to specifically represent submissIon…Is that not rebellion?
THE GLORY COVENANT
I recently had some trouble with my thyroid which required a change in my medication dosage. This lead to a downward spiral of major hair loss. Perhaps after reading this blogpost, you can understand why such an event would cause an Apostolic lady great distress. Many ladies would have immediately cut or trimmed their hair to make it more culturally acceptable. (*Trimming is cutting in small increments.) I, however, have this Glory Covenant that I take very seriously. I desire to be in obedience to God’s Word. I desire to live submitted to spiritual authority. I desire for the angels who are always watching to take note of my submission. I consider being in this Glory Covenant with God a great privilege and joy.
“But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.“ (1 Corinthians 11:15)
IN SUMMARY
Obviously, for the sake of time and space, I can’t cover every aspect of uncut hair in this post. If you have questions, please reach out. As always, I’m more than happy to discuss any topic that I write about.
“And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” (Acts 2:4)
This scripture is taken from the account of the Holy Ghost being first poured out on the Day of Pentecost in Acts chapter two. Since that day approximately two thousand years ago, every person who has ever received the Holy Ghost (God’s Holy Spirit) has spoken in tongues.
My husband and I travel and minister every weekend, and see people receive the Holy Ghost in this very same way almost every service. That being said, we sometimes encounter seekers who desperately want to be filled with the Spirit, but seem to come up against a wall of resistance that hinders them from pressing through to actually speaking in tongues. Their frustration often leads to the question, “Why is it so hard? Why can’t I speak in tongues?” Sometimes the question is verbalized, and other times I can see it on their face even though it’s not spoken.
First, let me assure you that God chose speaking in tongues as the initial evidence of receiving His Spirit. He wants to fill you with this precious gift, and He didn’t choose something that was unachievable.
Biblically, our new birth experience is compared to a baby’s natural birth. We can easily see that a baby doesn’t have to be taught how to cry. It is actually the most natural thing a baby does. They cry. A lot. Similarly, crying out to our Heavenly Father in tongues should be the most (super) natural thing we do.
Then why is it so hard?
Imagine yourself back in Bible times when the Holy Ghost was first poured out. It was a brand new experience, and no one was being taught how to do it. No one had mountains of negative information and opinions to overcome. They simply prayed sincerely and fervently until His Spirit began moving on them and through them. When that happened, they gave themselves wholeheartedly and unashamedly to worshiping Him. They didn’t close their mouths in embarrassment, or look around to see who was witnessing their most intimate moment with God.
On the contrary, they were caught up in the experience, and reached for Him even more. They worshipped Him louder and louder until they were speaking words they didn’t understand. And they didn’t care what it sounded like, or who was listening. All they cared about was drawing closer to Him, and being completely saturated with His Presence. The experience is still the same these two thousand years later.
MY HOLY GHOST TESTIMONY
Perhaps if I share my own experience of receiving the Holy Ghost, it will help you along on your journey. I didn’t receive the Holy Ghost right away after learning the Plan of Salvation (Acts 2:38). As a matter of fact, I sought to be filled for five long years. I would go to the altar and pray desperately. Many people prayed with me through the years. However, speaking in tongues evaded me, and my frustration and desperation only grew.
My husband and I were living in Alabama at the time. We had traveled home to Tennessee for the weekend, and were attending service at the church he had grown up in. I remember as the pastor preached, feeling God’s Spirit begin to tug at my heart. I was desperate to be filled with the Holy Ghost, but what was going to make this time different than all the others?
In that moment, it occurred to me that I was hearing words in tongues, spoken in my own voice, inside my head. As a matter of fact, I realized this was normally what happened when I was praying to be filled. I heard the tongues in my head, but never spoke it out. I assumed that was just me, and if it was God, He would take control, and force the words out of my mouth. I was so weary of the terribly frustrating cycle I was in of seeking and being disappointed again and again. Five years worth.
I began to wonder what would happen if I simply spoke the words out. Would that be seen by God as a lack of faith in His ability to change my language? Would it be me or Him? Could it really be that simple? I decided in that moment to find out. I stepped out into the aisle, raised my hands, and began to speak out the words in tongues that had been echoing in my head for five long years. The most beautiful and powerful thing happened as a result. God met me there. The moment I was obedient, and spoke out what He had already given me, I felt the inrushing of His Spirit as He filled me to overflowing.
Five years of struggle was over once I got my intellect out of the way, and used my own mouth and tongue to speak in that heavenly language. You might think, Well then anybody can speak in tongues any time they choose. It must not be such a spiritual thing after all. To that I would say, a person can make up words, and call it speaking in tongues, but if it’s truly the Holy Ghost, there will be an unction of the Spirit behind it, and He will flow in like a rushing mighty river of spiritual water.
SIDE NOTE
After this initial experience, I never struggled again to speak in tongues fluently. It’s my belief that many people cannot speak fluently in tongues even though they have “stammering lips” as well as uncontrollable shaking because they refuse to speak aloud the heavenly language they are hearing internally. People have actually commented to me over the years on how effortlessly I speak in tongues. I think that is a direct result of learning how to flow in the Spirit, compared to resisting until God “shakes it out of me.”
My experience of seeking the Holy Ghost may be different than yours. I can tell you that I have whispered this story into people’s ears around the altar who have been seeking the Holy Ghost for long periods of time. It has helped several to move forward in faith, speaking out the tongues they have been hearing, and receiving the baptism of the Holy Ghost.
There are other reasons why a person might be seeking the Holy Ghost over a long time period without success. One reason can be a lack of repentance. If a person is harboring sin that they haven’t asked forgiveness for, or refuse to turn away from, they will not receive the Holy Ghost. Some people refuse to follow the steps in the plan of salvation. They want the Holy Ghost, but they won’t truly repent or be baptized in Jesus name. Another reason that I see quite often is a very shy person who won’t worship the Lord out loud. Likewise, some people care more what their friends, family or the people around them will think if they give themselves over to the Spirit. Each of us must come to the place that nothing else matters but being saturated in His Spirit in order to receive the Holy Ghost.
IN SUMMARY
If you are seeking the baptism of the Holy Ghost, God desires this experience for you. It’s part of the New Birth, and nothing is more important than being born again according to Acts 2:38. Don’t give up! It’s for you!
“Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.“ (Acts 2:38)
People have been speaking in tongues since the Day of Pentecost in Acts chapter 2. That’s approximately 2,000 years. It’s astonishing that after all of this time, there remains so much confusion about the subject. One of the most widespread bits of misinformation is the belief that a person should never speak in tongues if there is no interpreter.
”Wherefore let him that speaketh in an unknown tongue pray that he may interpret.” (1 Corinthians 14:13)
Sounds pretty straight forward, right? The problem is created from taking the scripture out of context. There are multiple reasons for speaking in tongues. In 1 Corinthians chapter 14, Paul is addressing speaking in tongues as one of the Gifts of the Spirit.
Apparently, the Corinthian Church was made up of people who dealt with the same issues as we do today. Because of that, we have a smorgasbord of instructions to choose from where Paul addresses proper protocols. In chapter 12, he explains each of the Gifts of the Spirit, and how they should properly function in a church service. In chapter 13, he assures the Corinthians that every operation of the Gifts should be undergirded with love. And then in chapter 14, he speaks about handling the Gifts of the Spirit in a church service in an orderly manner so that everyone in the congregation, as well as visitors, will be edified, and not confused.
Paul focused a lot of attention in his writings to the Corinthian church on issues they were having when they came together for services. That being said, these instructions are focused primarily on the use of the Gifts of the Spirit in a church service.
The congregation was gathering together without any order in place. Everyone was taking their liberty in singing, preaching, praying, prophecying, giving messages in tongues, etc. Their services were complete chaos. Everything was happening at once. Everyone was confused, and no one was being instructed or edified. In modern language, we would say it was a “free for all.”
”How is it then, brethren? when ye come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying.” (1 Corinthians 14:26)
TONGUES & INTERPRETATION OF TONGUES
Divers Kinds of Tongues and the Interpretation of Tongues are two of the nine Gifts of the Spirit. These two gifts work together. A person who has the Gift of Tongues will feel impressed by the Spirit to speak a message out loud in tongues. After which, either that same person, or someone else in the congregation, will follow by giving the interpretation to the message in a language the congregation understands. A person may have only the Gift of Tongues, or both the Gift of Tongues, as well as the Gift of Interpretation of Tongues.
SIDE NOTE
I’m very familiar with these two Gifts of the Spirit because I have personally operated in them. Interestingly, my husband operates in the other seven. Years ago, we were sitting at our dining room table, talking with a spiritual mentor about the Gifts of the Spirit. He asked me if I could choose, which of the Gifts would I want. I immediately replied, Tongues & Interpretation of Tongues. He asked, “Why?” I replied, “Because the thought of being able to speak a fresh word to the congregation straight from the heart of God for that moment would be so wonderful.” He looked me in the eyes and said matter of factly, “It’s yours.”
So, yes, Paul did say when you are in a church service, and you feel the unction of the Spirit to give a message in tongues to the congregation, you should pray to receive the interpretation as well. Because if a message in tongues goes forth, and there is no one to give the interpretation, that causes confusion for everyone present, and no one is benefited. However, this is only one purpose for speaking in tongues.
You need to know there are multiple purposes for speaking in tongues. The scenario above is only one. Let’s unpack a few.
1. Initial Sign of Receiving The Holy Ghost
A person will speak in tongues as the initial evidence of having received the Gift of the Holy Ghost. (Not to be confused with one of the nine Gifts of the Spirit) Speaking in tongues for this purpose is actually the most important, and must be experienced before the other purposes are possible.
Speaking in tongues is part of the New Birth, or biblical Plan of Salvation. Jesus told Nicodemus in order to enter the Kingdom of God (be saved), a person must be born of the Water and Spirit. Receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, evidenced by speaking in tongues is being born of the Spirit.
“Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.“ (John 3:5)
The Holy Ghost was first poured out on the Day of Pentecost in the book of Acts. Since that day, everyone who has ever been born of the Spirit, has spoken in tongues. The pattern was set in the book of Acts, and continues today.
“And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” (Acts 2:1-4)
We see this commanded by Peter later in the chapter.
“Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.” (Acts 2:38)
2. Giving a Message In Tongues
We’ve previously covered this purpose for Tongues. It is one of the nine Gifts of the Spirit for the purpose of giving a message in tongues, usually in a gathering such as a church service. It should be followed by an Interpretation of Tongues, given either by the same person, or someone else. The message in tongues is allowed to go forth two or three times, but if no interpretation comes forth, the person(s) giving the message in tongues should stop speaking out forcefully for the whole congregation to hear, and simply worship God in a more personal way. If the message in tongues is not followed by an interpretation, it causes confusion, and is not beneficial. *There have also been accounts where a person will give a message in tongues, and someone in the congregation who speaks a different language is able to understand the message in their language.
“If any man speak in an unknown tongue, let it be by two, or at the most by three, and that by course; and let one interpret. But if there be no interpreter, let him keep silence in the church; and let him speak to himself, and to God.“ 1 Corinthians 14:27-28)
SIDE NOTE
You may be asking why there would be no interpretation to a message in tongues. 1. The person who should be giving the interpretation is not being sensitive to the Spirit. 2. They are learning how to operate in the gift, and are unsure, or too nervous to speak it forth. 3. The person who gave the message in tongues mistook it as a message when, in fact, it was simply an overflow of worship. In any of these situations, the remedy is the same. There is no interpretation forthcoming, therefore it’s best to be silent, and continue worshiping between yourself, and God so as not to draw any more attention.
3. Praying In The Spirit/Intercession
There are times to pray in our own language, speaking very specifically to the Lord about our needs and concerns. There are other times when we simply don’t know what else to pray, or the need is so great that we are overcome by our own inadequacy to pray as needed. At times, the Spirit of Intercession will come upon us so strongly that we will drop into a deeper place of prayer. In all of these situations, we begin to pray in tongues, or pray “in the Spirit.” When this happens, we are allowing the Holy Ghost to pray for us because we don’t know what or how to pray for the situation properly.
”Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” (Romans 8:26-27)
4. Worship
Once you have received the Holy Ghost, then you are able to worship on a deeper level. Whether it’s in a church worship service, or in your own personal prayer time, you may begin to speak lovingly and reverently in tongues as you pour accolades of praise out to the Lord. Singing in tongues is another way of lavishing Him with your deepest worship.
“What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also.” (1 Corinthians 14:15)
IN SUMMARY
So, the answer to the question of whether you should speak in tongues if there’s no interpreter depends on your purpose for doing so. If you are giving a message in tongues, then you should only speak that message two or three times without an interpreter. If no interpretation is forthcoming, then you should pray or worship in tongues more quietly so as to not cause confusion in the congregation.
However, if you are not giving a message in tongues, there is no need for an interpreter. You may proceed speaking in tongues to your heart’s content.
If you have never received the Holy Ghost with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues, you should most certainly seek to do so as it is part of the New Birth.
If you have previously received the Holy Ghost evidenced by speaking in tongues, then you have access to speak, pray, intercede, sing, praise and worship the Lord in tongues freely.
SIDE NOTE
If you speak in tongues in any of these ways, then you have, at some time, already received the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and are born of the Spirit. I pray you will take the steps to fulfill the complete Plan of Salvation/New Birth. -> Repent -> Be baptized in Jesus name -> Receive Holy Ghost. (Acts 2:38)
”…God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you:…” (1 Samuel 12:23)
Having previously been a pastor’s wife for 25 years, I speak from experience when I say this role is one of the most emotionally weighted positions of service. That’s not to say it’s not fulfilling or rewarding, but it is uniquely stressful in areas you may not realize. *If all jobs were rated by percentage of difficulty, being a pastor’s wife ranks in the 75%-85% range. (ChatGPT)
10 WAYS TO COVER YOUR FIRST LADY IN PRAYER
~Her Relationship With God~
Just like you, your pastor’s wife requires a close relationship with the Lord. Also like your relationship with God, it doesn’t happen automatically. It takes intentional planning and consistent focus. In order to effectively minister to those in the congregation who look to her for wisdom, comfort and nurturing, she must keep her relationship with God as her primary focus. This isn’t always easy when she is being pulled in many different directions at once.
-Pray she is able to make time for personal Bible reading, prayer and devotion time with the Lord early in the day, and consistently.
-Pray she hears the Voice of God often.
-Pray she is able to find the mind of Christ for each day.
-Pray she is able to release all her cares to the Lord.
~Her Relationship With Her Husband~
Your pastor’s wife’s first priority after her relationship with God is to her husband. The results of a strong and intimate relationship with her husband will spill over into every other area of her life, and will be a blessing to those around her.
-Pray she and her husband have consistent personal time for just the two of them.
-Pray she and her husband have open and consistent communication.
-Pray she and her husband are able to work through differences of opinion in a constructive and godly manner.
-Pray she and her husband are able to spend time, not only together, but also enjoying the hobbies they enjoy separately.
-Pray she and her husband are able to agree and commit to emotional, physical and spiritual boundaries that will benefit their relationship, as well as their family.
~Her Children & Grandchildren~
If your pastor’s wife has children living at home, she has all of the responsibilities for their care as you do for your children. The younger her children are, the more time, focus, energy they require of her. There will be times when she simply cannot be everything to everyone, because the needs of her children must come first.
Also, children raised in a pastor’s home have areas of difficulty that other children may not have. They have feelings of needing to be “perfect” at all times because they are “the pastor’s kids.” They deal with sharing their parents with everyone else in the congregation. They deal with family plans that have to be rescheduled, or simply don’t work out due to unexpected things that come up in the congregation.
-Pray for her energy level as she cares for her family.
-Pray for her children’s physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
-Pray for their time at school, and their friendships.
-Pray they have close sibling relationships.
-Pray they develop a personal relationship with Jesus early in life.
~Her Relationship With Members Of The Congregation~
Your pastor’s wife has the challenging task of being everyone’s friend equally, while building personal relationships individually.
-Pray she can build personal relationships that are sincere, but do not isolate any individuals in the congregation.
~Her Emotional Well-being~
Being a pastor’s wife requires thick skin, and a soft heart. She wasn’t elected to this role, yet her presence is invaluable. She must be both vulnerable, and unwaveringly strong. Her life is a paradox of strength and gentleness.
-Pray for her to be well balanced emotionally, able to focus on what’s most important at the time.
-Pray she is able to let harsh words or criticism fall to the wayside quickly.
-Pray she is not easily offended.
-Pray for her the gift of laughter.
~Her Home Life~
Even though it looks like your pastor’s wife is always at church, ready to take on the next service, class, outreach project or potluck, she actually has a home life. She loves you, and she loves serving, but she needs a home life where she can relax, unwind, regroup, refresh and breathe a minute.
-Pray the atmosphere of her home is comfortable and peaceful.
-Pray that people respect her time at home with her family.
-Pray for the peace of the Holy Ghost to saturate her family members, and every minute of every day.
~Her Giftings & Callings~
Every pastor’s wife is different, just as you are different from your siblings, cousins or neighbors. They have many of the same responsibilities, but they have different personalities and giftings to accomplish them with. Don’t expect your pastor’s wife to handle a situation in the same way a neighboring pastor’s wife would, or like your childhood pastor’s wife did, or even like you would if you were in her place. The First Lady of your church might be a natural speaker, singer or organizer…or she might not, and that’s okay.
-Pray for your pastor’s wife to acknowledge, embrace and utilize her own giftings.
-Pray your pastor’s wife doesn’t feel pressured to be like anyone else.
-Pray your pastor’s wife finds clarity for ministries God is calling her to do that may not be traditionally expected of a pastor’s wife.
~Her Work~
Many, if not most, pastor’s wives must work a secular job in addition to their responsibilities to the church and congregation. This not only adds responsibilities, but often an added level of stress. Her job may be a well planned career that she went to college for, or it may simply be a job that helps with the family’s finances.
-Pray she finds the job God has planned for her.
-Pray she has the skills to do her job effectively.
-Pray she can be an effective witness to her coworkers.
-Pray she finds favor with her boss and coworkers.
-Pray the work she does is personally fulfilling.
-Pray she is blessed financially for her labor.
~Her Time Management~
Time for a pastor’s wife is counted by seconds, minutes, hours, days and blocks on a calendar. Most every moment is already spoken for, and must be managed. Free time is a rare commodity, and must also be scheduled.
-Pray she is able to manage her time and family’s schedule properly, and schedule some each week just for herself.
BONUS MATERIAL
I had already invested a few hours into this post when the thought came to me, “Maybe I should actually ask some pastors’ wives what areas they would like prayer for?” I messaged twenty pastors’ wives who I know personally, and asked them this simple question:
”As a pastor’s wife, what are the top three things that you would like your congregation to pray for you?”
By overwhelming majority, the top three prayer requests were:
1. Wisdom
2. Children/Family
3. Peace
The following requests were also mentioned, and most of them more than once:
-Compassion For People
-Health & Strength For Service
-Patience
-Sensitivity to the Leading of the Lord
-To Be Teachable
-To Be Able To Forgive Offenses (To Have The Gift of Memory Loss -LOL)
-Confidence
-Rest
-To Be Willing (This one broke me because it was preceded by, “I’ve never considered myself worthy to ask for specific prayers!”)
Well, there you have it. A glimpse into the hearts of pastors’ wives. I find it humbling that even when asked what they wanted prayer for, the answers were never really about themselves. Rather, they always focused on how they could be better equipped to serve others.
Hopefully, this list of prayer suggestions and requests will help you to pray more often, and more specifically, for your First Lady. Keep her in your heart, and in your prayers. You certainly are in hers.
Warm Regards,
~Pat~
*Don’t forget to leave a comment, and let me know your thoughts!
Many people think when they make the decision to give their lives to Jesus, all of their frustrations will immediately go away. Granted, some do. But if you’ve lived for the Lord very long, you realize life struggles are no respecter of persons. If you’re wrestling with a lack of contentment, here are ten areas to check.
1. GET INTO THE WORD OF GOD DAILY.
God’s Word is the first and best way that we know Him. The answer to any of life’s circumstances can be answered in the scriptures -either by commandment, by example or in principle. Much of the time, our anxiety and discontentment comes from not knowing the Word of God.
“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” (Psalm 119:11)
2. PRAY EARLY, OFTEN AND IN THE HOLY GHOST.
The Lord never sleeps, but neither does the enemy of our souls. The earlier we begin our communication with our Heavenly Father, the more peace and contentment we’ll have throughout the day. We should bathe every moment of every day with prayer. There certainly are times that we need to be on our knees, pulling away from all distraction to seek His face. However, we should also develop the discipline of staying in communication with Him throughout our days. The more we involve Him in our daily thoughts, decisions and activities, the more content we will be.
“Pray without ceasing.“ (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
Let’s face it. Sometimes we are so overwhelmed, we run out of words. The needs are too great. The emotions are too big. The issues are too complicated. It’s in those times that we lean into the Spirit of God, and allow Him to intercede for us. As we pray in tongues, the Holy Ghost goes to that lost loved one, heals that grand baby, protects the traveler, softens hardened hearts and delivers the bound.
“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” (Romans 8:26)
3. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS.
While we are all part of the Body of Christ, we are individuals with our own personalities, giftings and callings. God never intended to have a Church full of clones. When He called you into His service, He had already factored in all your quirks, preferences and nuances that make you uniquely you.
“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.“ (2 Corinthians 10:12)
4. SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE.
“Sometimes more isn’t better. It’s just more.” -Sabrina
This is one of my favorite quotes. It’s not scripture, but the principle definitely is. Things might bring happiness for a season, but not joy. We should begin systematically examining every area of our lives, and simplifying. That will look different for everyone. Most of us have far too much stuff, have far too busy of schedules, eat far too much in excess and our closets are packed way too full. It’s all just too much, and flesh always wants more.
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.” (1;Timothy 6:6-8)
I’m a wannabe minimalist. BECOMING MINIMALIST.COM is a great website to learn about the minimalist lifestyle!
5. DON’T OVER COMMIT.
This sounds much easier than it actually is. (I hear you snickering.) Still, our calendars are packed so full. Every minute of every day must be accounted for, especially if you’re in the ministry. We need to schedule downtime. I know that might sound ridiculous, but that’s probably the only way we’ll get the time. No matter how much pressure is applied to perform, we can only do so much well. When we spread ourselves too thin, then nothing gets done well. I’m not suggesting that you not fulfill your obligations. We only have this one life, and we need to use it working for the Kingdom. I am suggesting, however, that we set reasonable goals, and agree to reasonable levels of commitment.
“For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.” (Luke 14:28-30)
6. LIMIT NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA.
Let’s face it. Neither the news, nor social media are reality. Most of the news we watch or listen to is biased, and slanted toward whatever group think the powers that be want us to believe. It’s best to find a non-biased news source, take a look once a day (or less) and leave the rest alone. The more news you ingest, the more depressed and anxious you are likely to be. Yes. Stay updated on world events, and commit yourself to prayer. You can’t help or change any of it in any other way.
On the other end of the emotional spectrum is social media. Here, we ingest just as much fake news as the actual news broadcasts. But it paints such a flowery, overly perfect compilation of people’s lives that we end up feeling like ours isn’t good enough. We need to remember the highlights we see on social media are only glimpses into people’s lives, and they rarely show the hard, painful and messy parts.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
7. GET OUTSIDE REGULARLY, AND GET MOVING.
God created Adam and Eve, and placed them in a garden. That was our beginning. He could have created a high rise office building full of computer screens for us to thrive in, but He didn’t. Outside with the sun on our face, the ground under our feet and our hands full of earth, plants and animals. This is where we feel most alive. Our bodies weren’t designed to sit staring at a screen day after day. They were meant to move. I’m not talking about getting a gym membership. Just get your body moving, even if it’s a walk around the neighborhood or weeding the flower bed.
8. EAT HEALTHY MOST OF THE TIME.
Remember the saying we heard over and over as a child, You are what you eat? Turns out it’s true. Health begins in the gut. We live in a culture that glorifies gluttony, and we’re inundated with advertisements pushing all manner of unhealthy foods. In order to be content in our minds, we first half to be content in our bodies. I’m not talking about getting sexy. Im talking about getting healthy. Learn to live a fasted lifestyle in a healthy manner. Then eat responsibly during your eating windows. We must take care of our bodies. Not only are they the conduits we use to move the Gospel, they are also the temples of the Holy Ghost. God expects us to keep them in good repair.
”Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16)
9. PRACTICE BEING THANKFUL.
One of the best ways I know to be content is to practice thanking God for what He has given us, and done for us. When we intentionally focus our minds on the goodness of God, everything we have becomes more valuable. My cabinets may not be packed full, but I have food to cook for supper today. Thank you, Lord, for this meal. You sustain me. I may not drive the sports car of my dreams, but I have a dependable car to get me to work. Thank you, Lord, for my dependable car. You provide for me. Keeping a Thankfulness Journal is a great way to practice this habit. List at least three things before going to sleep at night that you’re thankful for. Before long, your mind will begin to search out things to be thankful for, and you will find yourself much more content with what you have, as well as your circumstances.
“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
10. ENCOURAGE OTHERS.
Do you feel discouraged? Sad? Frustrated? Hopeless? That’s exactly where the enemy of your soul wants you. When I find myself in this mental place, I’ve learned the best way to get through it is to reach out to someone else. There’s something about ministering to others that brings healing and hope to our own hearts. Send the text. Write the letter. Make the call. Schedule the visit. Pray the prayer. Cook the meal. Even when you don’t feel like it. Be intentional.
IN CLOSING
This is a tried and true list from personal experience. I pray you find a place of contentment in your walk with God as you implement each one.
